Well, there I went again- procrastinating!!
O.k. now is the time to stop. Lets get down to it.
A lot of people ask me “Why now? Why so long for a solo cd? Why not 10, 20 years ago?”
That is a great question. One that I have asked myself over and over……. After a lot of thought, I believe it boils down to a two things: Timing and Growth.
I am a very passionate person and I have always felt that there are things in me that I have to get out. Up until now, I have simply not had the ability to properly express the things I feel and want to say in a tangible way. It's been a big mix of thoughts and emotions.
I am floored be the old Chinese proverb that says: "Don’t speak if you cannot improve upon silence."
This is so powerful. Think about it for a moment.
For me, it has taken this much of my life – through life experience, pain, love, loss, and growth to really connect with myself, to get to know “me”; what I think, feel, believe. To have the ability to express it. I have waited until this process could be free flowing and organic, not contrived. Based on that, I believe now is the time to express what I think and feel. I have something to say and share.
I have always been a writer. Sure, I could come up with guitar riffs, lyrical themes, melodies, etc. That was never a problem. My weakness has been one of following through, to take that great idea and develop it through to completion.
Since my youth I found myself collaborating with others, which I love. I think it is healthy and productive. This was always the case up until this CD. I would write a guitar riff, a lyric, a melody and bounce it off the others who I happened to be working with at the time. This was powerful and effective. For example, I wrote the music, lyrics and melody for the first verse and chorus for the Holy Soldier song “Eyes of Innocence” from our debut release. “Wow, Mike- that’s a really great 1:30 song! What else ya got?” That was it. I was stuck. I could not develop the song further. It turned out o.k., because the way we worked, we all brought ideas to the table and we built upon each others ideas and made great music. But for me as a writer, it had a very negative side effect, as it prevented me from being forced to stretch and grow.
This new record was for me to prove to myself that I could “do it”. I wanted to be able to follow through. I took my very best ideas, rolled up my sleeves and with all the determination I could muster, I worked. And worked. And worked! Sometimes I wanted to give up. There were times when I went through 5-8 sheets of paper full of lyrical ideas just to finish that one verse. Other times, ideas would flow smoothly. But as I worked at it, the process became easier. It taught me to persevere and to not give up. This has been an amazing journey for me. I have faced my “demons” of fear, insecurity, perfectionism, procrastination and I am learning to win. These demons only have the power we give them. They can be defeated!
I want to encourage anyone reading this that feel they are stuck; be it decisions, life, writers block, whatever- DO NOT GIVE UP! Keep working, explore, develop. Most importantly: don’t be afraid get in touch with yourself. We all have value. We all have a voice. Find yours and great things will come.
Growth is always painful, but the end results are very rewarding. And the results of my blood, sweat, tears and emotions are all poured out for the world to see and hear.
Thanks for reading-
Until next time,